Bitches please, like you're reading this entry because of my sassy attitude.
So the boys, I thought all did really, really well this time around, although there was definitely a clear winner between the three in my mind.
"Asians? Rap? LOLZ."
To be fair, I found a list of the '10 most famous Asian rappers of all time' and there's someone on there named 'Snacky Chan.' I think Gaybraham wins this round against racial stereotypes.
I seriously need to get a new website for screen shots--this one makes Abraham look like an anime character when he moves. (See jumping shot.)
Anyways, Abraham asked me a few weeks ago what I meant when I said he got a little too 'fierce' sometimes, and why I said it like it was an issue. Essentially, I told him he just used it in the wrong context. This homework, on the other hand, was the PERFECT context to let that flaming flag fly, and boy did not disappoint--his energy was only paralleled by one other person, which we'll get to later in this post.
Although...maybe tone it down a little in the studio; that mic is going to sue for sexual assault soon.
Abraham, sadly, was basically not even in the video, and given what I could see from what they were filming, that is just UPSETTING. There was some crazy Beyoncé diva fierceness going on in his solo, and the fact that this was as crazy as they showed in the video makes me want to cry. You owe someone a slap upside the head, boo.
Blake KILLED the homework assignment this week, to me--I have no idea how he didn't win, let alone the fact that Jane Lynch completely passed him by.
Especially since they had such a nice little moment together.
Blake just really gave a fleshed out, hilarious, and honestly, kind of sexy character that he stuck to the whole homework, whilst also sounding really great. This adorkable thing is a really good schtick for him, actually.
"So Blake, we've been seriously lacking in the VPL department from you."
"Oh trust me, sweetheart, I can fix that."
And fix it he did. Give your girlfriend a hug for me and tell her I said: "Congratulations. Bitch."
Of course I had to end on the 'O' face.
Here they are you little horndogs--all the shirtless shots of Blake I could manage. I thought he also did AMAZINGLY in the video as well, to be perfectly honest. Exactly the right amount of 'high school jock' that this shoot was otherwise desperately lacking. His acting was flawless and highly dimensional, and really added the humor and realism at the same time. Best performance of the week.
"Blah blah blah, overthink. Blah blah blah young..."
I don't know who sounds more like a broken record--Michael with this bit, or Aylin with the Turkish Muslim line at the beginning of every episode. I think I'm going to have to go back and check to see what outfits they're wearing everytime they say this stuff--I have a suspicion they're just being used on repeat.
"So, Mikey, ever squeezed your junk into a speedo before?"
"Only in my wildest dreams?"
Or, you know, mine. Everyone's. Whatever.
It was really cute how he hard he was trying, but he sort of sounded like someone was holding a gun to his head in the recording booth--confused and a little terrified.
Michael was also pretty great in the video, I thought. But then, he was shirtless--him not being great in the video was literally impossible.
Enjoy the spontaneous orgasms, kids.