Sometimes, when I'm all alone late at night, I watch movies that open with shots like this.
So the episode begins with Michael and Blake yet again subtly expressing their undying love and passion for one another's heart, soul, and body in a manner designed to make the collective teenaged-girl knees of America weak.
But for real, this is getting to the point where I barely have to make any of this shit up. I'm starting to get kind of invested in this love story we seem to have mistakenly stumbled upon.
I mean, come on: they stood next to each other ON THE CHORUS LINE. Isn't that like, a euphemism or something?
Anyways, because I'm running on what's essentially pure caffeine at this point, we're going to follow these two through the episode at the same time. I think I've started to hallucinate alien spacecraft noises outside my window. It's probably just some homeless man peeing on a trash can.
"So I told Michael 'Why even bother practicing? Just spend as much time as you possibly can with Blake while you can before he wins this competition and dumps your ass for Matt Bomer.'"
"The funny thing is, it's starting to sound better than 'Moves Like Jagger'."
Awwww, I kid. Michael seemingly got the note from some producer that they want to keep him around a bit longer, so he has to start acting more confident, even if it means shrieking like a pterodactyl into Nikki's ear piece. In any case, he at least seems more comfortable with his hilarious failures. Plus, it helped that he KILLED it in the video, but more on that later.
"Ps, I have a gay brother. I'm going to set him up with Sam, and the two of them will live happily ever after as long as he's nice to me from here on out."
Well, boy knows how to play his trump cards, that's for sure. Loyal twitter followers, it is now your job to secure me a date with Blake's Gay Brother--this mean war.
Anyways, I thought Blake's little shout out to his apparently non-sassy gay brother was pretty freaking adorable, and made me gush a little bit, and want Blake as my older brother, as opposed to my...friend.
You're welcome, adolescent girls and gay boys.
Starting with Blake...WOW. At first when I saw this video, I was severely under impressed with Blake's role in it, but after learning that he was Boy George, I immediately got it: the mannerisms, the way he moves, Jesus, even the way Blake was singing this song were exactly how Boy George would do so if had to in this day and age. An amazingly modern, subtle take on a character Blake just as easily could have turned into a cheesy Richard Simmons kind of act, and I have a lot of respect for Blake for choosing the road he did.
Michael didn't exactly follow up Blake's act in terms of acting and nuance, but what Michael did bring was a sense of pizazz and downright goofiness that the video was really about. I mean, any video that includes beer popping boobs isn't exactly in Emmy contention, so I gotta give the kid credit for really letting it all out there, and somehow yet again managing to pull out a pretty stellar vocal, despite what we saw in the booth.
Good job this week, sexy boys. Just try to be less clothed the next time you hang out together in bed, whispering sweet nothings in the others ear.