Thursday, June 14, 2012

WERQ

So, I kind of want to pretend that only half of this episode happened this week.  Why?


Because that way, I could just sing my lovely Gaybraham's praises, stick him at the top of my rankings list, and call it a day.  He and I could go back down our merry way to our inevitable romance, and all would be right with the world.


Alas.

Well, let's start from the top.


Ew.


So Gaybraham Twinkoln remembers to slip in that bit not about not being confident after rambling on and on about how he won.  Sweetie, anyone with a pulse can see that you're trying to build an arc.  Just be fierce.  Channel Michelle Kwan, and GET THAT GOLD.

Also, Samuel? There are other words in the English language other than 'intense' and most do a much better job of describing how Abraham dances, like...


'Gaysha-realness.'

I'm sorry, that may be racist, but if it's good enough for JuJuBee, you best believe it's good enough for her boy clothed counterpart.  But fine, I don't think it's in the dictionary, either.


Although for his video performance 'inconsistent,' 'spastic,' 'stiff,' and 'contrived' are most certainly in there somewhere.  Not to put too much excess blame on my boo--this video SUCKED--but he was definitely one of the weaker players in the whole thing.  I did thorough enjoy his dance moves, however.

And ps, Zach? Lipsynching in such a dance centric number looks cheesy and stupid--they did their solos sans lipsynch last season.


No one makes MY baby cry.

I think Abraham maybe deserved to be in the bottom.  I love him, and I was relieved that he wasn't, but his video performance was so...pre-concieved and forced, that when compared to Dani's performance, it's somewhat of a toss up.

Either way, he wasn't going home, regardless.  I'd be castrating Ryan Murphy right now, were that the case.

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