Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Ups and Downs

So since I like, didn't talk about Ali last week, let's do a quick run-down of her major dramz in the dance episode.

"So I had this really awesome, like, idea, where I twirl around and stuff and..."

"Nope, mine."

"Uh...but, it would be sooooooo cool like I think you would think it was SOOOOO cool."

"Still mine."

"Make love, not war...um...please stop fighting?"

"...sure, whatever."

"That's right--nobody fucks with these rims, bitches."

No, seriously, that's the biggest drama the girl in the WHEELCHAIR had during the DANCE episode.  For serious, you guys.  I mean, I know girl has some mad skillz, but when everyone else around her was like "Uh, dancing is so hard for me.' She and Mario must have gotten past their differences for a second and been like "Bitches, PLEASE."

Not that she was particularly impressive in this episode.  Actually, in all honesty, she kind of sucked.

And while I go back and forth about the legitimacy of Mario's assertion that her "'round and around" line in the homework was cliched, it was definitely lame.

And her performance in the video was about on par with everyone else...which is kind of a nice way of say she sucked.

Again, props that she came up with some of the most dynamic moves in the video, but I can't exactly be like "Congrats, you were awesome by default!" because she's in a wheelchair--that seems insulting.

I will say though: Girl, whatever you did to piss wardrobe, hair, and make up off? FIX IT.  You look like Paris Hilton after a long night at a drag bar.

I think Nellie may officially be the new Lindsay--every time there's some big crazy note, it seems like BOOM there's Nellie to hit it for them.

Although, I have to say, this homework?  Not particularly impressive.  She wasn't exactly bad, per say, but she kind of faded into the background a bit. Girl needs to step it the hell up, or she's headed for no mans land.

 "I don't just...kiss people."

Girl, I don't want to hear it--you made out with MICHAEL AND BLAKE.  There is not a single person reading this blog currently who doesn't want your life.  Or at least to be able to do everything your mouth gets to do.

Sure, you have no idea what dancing is, but you've just time travelled here from the nineties--you probably think the macarena is still cool.

I love this photo, it's so like 'Nellie, you get Blake, I'm going for the minor.'

Mission accomplished.

Shanna was destined to be a background character for most of this episode, after doing AMAZINGLY well last episode, not that she didn't arrive there in her own merits--she did a cute little bit in the dance number, but ultimately nothing memorable.  She just kinda added flair to the group choreography, it seemed.

Did Shanna even get a legit line in this video? I literally have nothing to say...

Except that gentlemen totally prefer blondes.  You guys, let's face it--Weisman is totally hot for me.