Tuesday, June 26, 2012

In Which the Mentors Overreact

To begin our discussion on overreacting mentors...


Let's talk about how big this reaction was to them basically being told that their deepest, darkest, most painful secrets were going to be spewed all over national television, to millions of homes across the country.

Actors, man, they are tripped up people.


So, uh, Blake is ridiculously adorable and all...but literally gives me nothing to work with, in terms of sound bites or storyline.


Which is why I must yet again make up my own.


...


...


...moving on...


Blake reveals in his mini confessional that before he was adorable, he was adorkable.  Oh, the agony.  All people in the immediate vicinity get turned on at the site of a hot guy getting emotional.


That's more like it!  The sexual tension between the two of these boys is literally going to start melting peoples clothes off; let's hope it's theirs.


All right, all right, I'll talk about him for realsies.  I don't quite get why the mentors had such a hard on for Blake this episode.  I mean, sure, he's probably the best male actor they have, but this performance wasn't exactly the kind of 'Marissa with her anorexia sign' intensity that they seemed to think it was.  Good, definitely within the top half of video performances, but not exactly phenomenal.


Conversely, they got all up in Lil's grill this episode...for essentially giving a pretty equal performance.  Although, it doesn't help that Lily is getting a major crazy bitch edit, while golden boy is getting...well, the golden boy edit.

"My competitive side is definitely kicking in--I felt all stabby holding my toothbrush next to Aylin this morning."

Although...she might want to stop acting like a crazy bitch at some point, and then they wouldn't have three episodes worth of quotes that sound like they came from American Psycho: Mean Girls Edition.

Also, I'm not going to get into but...Mean Girls gave you a revelation?  Girl please.  I've had more revelatory grilled cheese sandwiches.


Apparently I could have just called this post "the ones who sucked in the homework" and it would have...you know, I might actually have to change it to that.  But then this line wouldn't make sense, so I probably won't. Yeah.

See how I avoided talking about Lily's godawful, Dreamgirls erotica style vulnerability homework performance?

Oh, oops.


So yeah, Lily was pretty good in the video, save the lipsynch, which exactly nobody got (includes Shanna, Tyler, Aylin....EVERYONE) but she decided to be a little whiny during filming...


And lands herself in the bottom three again for her attitude issues, the same attitude issues that rip the hell out of that Duffy song.  Save the awkward, incongruous falsetto notes that really should have just been belted (girl's got quite the belt in her) this was epically fierce.

"I don't think you're an underdog."

"And I don't think you're fit to dress yourself, let alone run one of the biggest current television
 franchises.  Where's Brennan? I demand a recount"

1 comment:

  1. I loved that last comment. Seriously, if I were a contender on this show I would demand to have Brennan at my last chance performance. Or maybe I would just pull Zach Woodlee aside and tell him I could help him pull off the assassination plot we all know he has been planning.

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