Tuesday, June 5, 2012

FINAL RANKINGS: Season One

Hey guys!  So this post has been a long time coming, and I didn't want to put it up until there was a meaningful time to do so.  Now that season two is nigh, let's look back on the kids that made this show what it is.

And put them in their places just one more time.

These rankings are season long, and take EVERYTHING into account--talent, individual songs, acting, work ethic, etc.  Basically, the way things should have worked out.

So let's get started, one last time.

12) Matheus


No need to get into this again.

Best Moment: The infamous strip tease.
Worst Moment: The infamous strip tease.

11) Bryce


Listen, Bryce fans, you can argue all you want about how well he's done outside of the show, but that's not important--I can only fairly judge him in the context of his brief stint on...you know what? Fuck it.  The kid sucked coming out of the gate, and got cut for it.  This is reality TV.  Shit happens.

Best Moment: His acting in the 'Firework' video.
Worst Moment: His singing in the...show.

10) McKynleigh

It hurts me to put her this low, but again, that's how this stuff works.  McKynleigh, while certainly one of the better performers, was pretty much the worst of the bunch when it came to being a reality show contestant--blending into the background when she had all the right stuff to come out on top.

Best Moment: 'Last Name' performance--still stellar to this day.
Worst Moment: Terrified substitute acting in the 'Firework' video.

9) Damian
You guys, Damian SUCKED.  Like, he was cute and charming, sure, but he couldn't act (well, he still can't) he has a very limited range of songs he sounds good singing, and he just really isn't all that spectacular a performer.  Should have been kicked off way earlier in the competition, but his cuteness saw him through to the win.

Best Moment: "I WISH THAT I WAS JESSE'S GIRL!"
Worst Moment: Speaking English

8) Emily

Emily was, I think, definitely the best performer on this season, in a lot of ways--she knew exactly how to bring it, if not always how to sing it.  I think there's such a thing as being too polished, and I think Emily here suffered from it a little bit--when they were looking for a 'real' character, she gave them this over-the-top drag queen kind of thing.  It's a good bit, but it's definitely not what this show was after.

Best Moment: I seem to recall something about a bikini...
Worst Moment: Clawing at Lindsay's throat.

7) Ellis

Well, at least you guys know I'm not picking favorites.  Ellis, Ellis, Ellis, how different a season it would have been if you had stayed.  Once you saw the direction they were going in, it's clear to see how Ellis was never going to make the cut, but in terms of her performances, Ellis was always pretty top-notch.  Her acting moments were some of the best the show had.  Sadly, that fickle beast of the showbiz world decided it didn't like her, and instead of giving her a second chance, just sort of fed her to the wolves.  It says a lot about Glee that they'd cut possibly the most unique character they had so early.

Best Moment: "We're Not Gonna Take It" acting segment.
Worst Moment: Whenever she got defensive.

6) Samuel

Aw, SAMUEL.  Such a wildly inconsistent contestant, so clearly the default winner when Cameron decided to drop out.  You guys, Samuel is definitely good, but I think Lindsay summed it up best when she was like "GUYS, squinting isn't acting."  The same way growling isn't singing.  Still, good enough to bag the Glee Project, so what do I know?

Best Moment: Mentoring that mini-me kid.
Worst Moment: SQUINTING ALL THE TIME OMGSTOP

5) Cameron

Cameron Mitchell is too cool for this shit.

Best Moment: Leaving the show, and saving his best friend in doing so.
Worst Moment: Whining about kissing a girl. Even his mother was like "STFU AND TONGUE HER, BITCH."

4) Alex




Having seen Alex on Glee, it's pretty easy to see why boy got so far--he truly was meant to sing and act.  Sure, he sucked at keeping up the positivity, but his last chance performances were something LEGENDARY.  Work it, diva.

Best Moment: "His Eye Is On the Sparrow" was the most absolutely breathtaking moment the show had.  If Alex had simply pulled out that person every week, I think we'd be looking at our winner.
Worst Moment: The entire dance-ability episode.

3) Marissa

I'm not going to lie, this nearly hurt me not putting Marissa at the top, but for all her strengths--the girl certainly has the brightest future, I think, in television acting--it was nearly impossible for me to ignore her one major fault: she, like McKynleigh, just didn't get the reality television part of this show.  Now, the fact of the matter is, if they were looking for the best character to support Glee as a part of it, as opposed to some celebrity, there really was no topping Marissa--there's just some indefinable quality to her that she really should try exploring in acting.  Should have at least been top four.  Hell, she pretty much dominated the finale video, anyways, no?

Aka, Marissa von Bleicken is too fierce for this shit.

Best Moment: "Don't You Want Me Baby" is still possibly the best music video performance of the season.
Worst Moment: Telling Nikki she 'didn't practice this part as much'

2) Lindsay



QUELL SURPRISE, NON?!  Let's get to this: has Lindsay proven that she should have won the Glee Project from actually being on Glee? YES.  Do I want to see more of Lindsay on Glee?  HELL YES.  Is she possibly the most well-roundedly impressive contestant the show had? YES TIMES YES.  So...why number two?

Best Moment: I still can't get over that note she hit for "We're Not Gonna Take It".  Single best vocal of the season.
Worst Moment: Letting Ryan get to her.

1) Hannah

Because of this girl, you guys.  This completely ethereal being who started as a background contender, a middleton, who was able to dash all of her doubts and reservations, and just completely bring it.  If Glee was truly looking for an underdog, something to make the show something amazing again, Hannah was your girl.  Unique, inspiring, hardworking, relateable, and stunningly talented, I was nothing but utterly shocked, disappointed, and a little disgusted when she was sent packing.  Hannah was what Glee needed to get itself out of it's rut--not two pretty boys with half assed voices.

MC Hannah, girl, you may not have won The Glee Project, but allow me to crown you the official Champion of The Gleek Project.

Best Moments: Existing, "I catch glimpses."
Worst Moments: N/A

4 comments:

  1. Amazingly, I agree with you about ALMOST everything in this ranking, except the placement of Samuel. I would have put him in the #2 spot. All other rankings are spot on. If we were casting for musical theatre here, I would have put Lindsay #1 and Alex #2, but we're casting for a musical television show, and one that is going to be doing a decreasing number of show tunes (as Fox is demanding that). Hannah, Samuel, and maybe Marissa are the ones that are going to make it on screen, and Samuel and Marissa are the ones who are going to make it vocally in rock/pop/soul/top 40. Lindsay and Alex are going to make it on stage, but they lack the subtlety that's required for acting on camera. On camera they're amped up versions of themselves, making you always aware that they're acting. Samuel is the only one actually playing the character and mostly not letting you see that. Joe is SO not Samuel!

    As for best and worst moments. Hannah's worst moment was "Back to December," but you'll notice that not even Taylor Swift can sing Taylor Swift songs live. Lindsay's worst moment is hard to say because of the bald-faced editing her into a character, but probably it was choosing Gimme, Gimme for her finale song (should have shown them her voice is versatile for a variety of genres). Alex's worst moment was when he dodged the raining slushie in the Under Pressure/Ice, Ice Baby video, ruining what would otherwise have been the second best video (after Don't You Want Me).

    Samuel was the MOST consistent contestant, not the least. He was never even in the bottom half until episode 8! As far as the squinting went, it was working for him, so he stuck with it, until it didn't, and then he started smiling. I think his worst moment was not attributing "skadoosh" to Hannah. His best moment was Jolene, because he was the only one who got the final assignment -- show me something about you I haven't already seen. I also don't think he was the replacement winner. I think Damian was. Samuel didn't even try out for the Glee Project. He tried out for the part of Sam Evans, got to the final 5 (a pool that included Chord Overstreet and Curt Mega), and didn't get the gig. Then, he did American Idol and he was so over reality competitions, but Robert called him back in and asked him to allow them to put his tape in -- he didn't even make a new tape, they just pulled him into the top 80 using his old myspace video from the previous year. I'd say the thinking was "This competition is risky. Let's include this guy we know we want to cast anyway, and then if no one else is good enough, we can just make him winner." Damian was the replacement for Cameron who otherwise would have been the co-winner with Samuel. Samuel's consistency came from treating this as one, long audition. Sure cry yourself to sleep every night (which he did), but don't bring that into the audition or your interactions with others (which he didn't). TGP2 contestants take note.

    Damian's worst moment is the cheesy mugging alternating with fading into the background that he does on camera, and he still does that on camera.

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  2. In all honesty I agree that Damian wasn't the absolute best there. And I can't explain but I still rooted for him. I followed him in Celtic Thunder and in all honesty I still think he is an amazing talent.
    P.S I'm a guy and not gay so it's not because I think he's 'cute'.

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  3. I think Top six should have been the girls minus McKynleigh and Alex... honestly Samuel, Damian and Cameron being draged all season just cause of their looks it's really insulting to me as an actor and reality TV fan!

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  4. I absolutely loved Hannah, Lindsay, and Cameron ever since that moment in the firework video...
    Hannah just had that spark, she truly was what glee says it stands for. I saw her her sing the cheesy Katy Perry song and I was rooting for her. Then Cameron shows his amazing voice, and then Lindsay's was even more incredible.

    (Loved that river deep and mountain high cover that they did. Best vocalists of the season in my opinion.)

    I think Cameron had an amazing voice, but I agree with your ranking, in some ways he was kind of a fart out, and almost too religious for his own good. I was mad when he just quit. I never really liked Damien that much because he really just got by on his looks low key... so I would have been glad to see him go...

    When it comes to Lindsay, she really should have won. No one worked harder than her, and if you are saying she was good on glee as well(I hate the show because it claims to be so original and whatnot, but the writing is terrible... everything else is good though)She REALLY should have won out of the top four. It's funky that the show painted her in a negative light, but I was always able to see through it. Plus, if Hannah loved her, I know she was amazing. :)

    Hannah, oh Hannah, I loved her so much. I cried when she was kicked off. It was horrible. Plus Cameron had left the week before and it really made the show go down for me. If glee was actually what it says it is about, she clearly should have won. I relate to her a lot in the weight department, and I loved her positivity and honesty and... BELIEVABILITY!! She had the personality and character. I really lost respect for Ryan after he kicked her off. (Well, I lost even more respect... I really think the writing on the show is terrible... It's almost like an accidental spoof of actual high school.) She was a beautiful person. She was the ultimate underdog... all the way till the end... :(
    I miss her even now. Glee is supposed to be a safe haven for people like her, but i guess it wasn't... :/

    "I catch glimpses" :')

    In conclusion I totally agree with your ranking and will now follow this blog because you are obviously a really intelligent person... that somehow watches glee... xD Just Kidding...

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