Wednesday, April 25, 2012

PRE-RANKING, BITCHES

So it's everybody's favorite time again!  I put these little wannaglees in their places, literally.  I don't really have anything to judge them on, but what fun are these things if I let like, facts get in the way all the time?

As always, let's start from the bottom:

14) Charlie

Oh lesbian Finn, you were pretty much bound to end up here.  Stop dropping acid before your interviews and we'll talk about moving you up a few places.


13) Maxfield

This one can go home whenever he likes, if I'm going to have to hear his spiel about his ex-girlfriend/jock past/little brothers and sisters or whatever every single second.  Dude, drop the histrionics and just try being good.

12) Ali

Until I hear her sing (she sounds like she's got some Cheno pipes on her) I think I'm going to be fairly unimpressed with this one.  I feel like I don't know anything about her, other than she talks like Miss South Carolina.

11) Shanna

The only thing I'm finding exciting about her is that she seems to have potential to become a vicious, raging bitch.  Don't let me down, Shanna!

10) Blake

Don't get too excited--the only reason you broke the top ten is because I want to see you shirtless.


9) Taryn

I'm not quite sure why, but I like this girl.  Her interview was a trainwreck, and her Michael Jackson fascination creeps me the fudge out, but I like her hair, and the way her voice sounds.  Somebody get this girl a five hour energy, and I think we may have a contender!

8) Michael

Yet another cute boy I want to see shirtless, basically.  But this one seems to have some pretty amazing talent backing him up--we'll see where this goes.  Right now, he's middle of the pack for me.

That will, of course, change drastically if he and Blake have to play out some love scene.

7) Aylin

As is this girl.  Initially, I was pretty much in love with her for being a potential bitch, but her interview just seemed so flat.  Honey, you'd better make good on that slut promise, or you're going to be slipping down the ranks awfully fast.

6) Nellie

Lindsay seems to have quite the soft spot for this girl, so I'm putting her in the top six.  She also gave one of the best interviews, and I'm kind of in love with the image I have of her in my head as this artsy Starbucks barista from the nineties.  Let's just hope she can sing.

5) Arnauz

I'm honestly not sure of what name I should be calling this kid by, but I've heard him sing, and that's all I care about at this point.  Plus, he's a sweetheart.  No way in hell he takes the crown, though.

4) Dani

The Lady Bieber here seems to have the advantage of having performed on reality tv before, and I'm kind of obsessed with her personality, and her parody of 'Baby'.  I think she may not be enough of an underdog to take this thing, though.

3) Abraham

After ripping him to complete and utter shreds, I kind of fell in love with Abraham.  I at least know I'll never be short on words to talk about him.  Stay strong, Kool Aid kid--I'm gonna need an easy target this season.

2) Lily Mae

Lil' miss Lily Mae may be my favorite, as well as one of my favorites to take this whole thing, but...well, I honestly have no buts.  She's adorable, she fits Glee to a 't', she seems to have personality, and be able to sing.  Honestly, she's great...

1) Tyler

But Tyler's got some kind of spark to him.  There's just something so sweet, and kind, and modest about him that I am absolutely in love with.  I also am DYING to hear this boy sing, especially after his anecdote about Sara Bareilles, which I also kind of hate him for.

So there you have it!  My first set of rankings for these kids, all ripe for the ripping.  Disagree?  Let me hear it--it's been too long since I've heard you guys trash me.

4 comments:

  1. i'm so glad you're back to reviewing the new glee project
    i can't wait to see what you say when the show starts :D

    personally i have no ideas whose gonna win, so its definitely going to be an interesting season :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why herro there! It's Twilink from last summer. Sorry for the gift-thingy I promised you, didn't have the time to finish it. :( How have you been since last TGP? Hm...my ranking for now:

    1. Shanna (just because of the preview)
    2. Dani
    3. Lily Mae
    4. Abraham
    5. Tyler
    6. Nellie
    7. Aylin
    8. Arnauz
    9. Michael
    10. Taryn
    11. Blake
    12. Maxfield
    13. Ali (HATE. HER. VOICE. IN. THE. PREVIEW.)
    14. Charlie

    And also : I already feel like I will have a hard time connecting with this cast. -.-

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nevermind, just saw the full music video for Edge of Glory...so:

    1. Shanna
    2. Nellie
    3. Abraham
    4. Lily Mae
    5. Arnauz
    6. Dani
    7. Tyler
    8. Maxfield
    9. Aylin
    10. Michael
    11. Taryn
    12. Blake
    13. Ali
    14. Charlie

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the top 6 will end up being Nellie, Lily Mae, Blake, Michael, Aylin, and Abraham. The rest of them either aren't that good or will probably have a bad week and get sent home in a totally surprising typical Asshat McBeanie elimination (like Hannah, but earlier in the season.

    ReplyDelete