Friday, April 6, 2012

Meet the Meat: The Glee Project 2, Part 2

Let's get part three two rolling, while I fix whatever the hell happened to the last entry!

Blake, 19
Miami, FL
Blake recently moved to Los Angeles from Florida. He drums and juggles, but his passion is acting. Blake has studied acting and improvisation since he was a child. Upon arriving in LA, he worked a few odd jobs in his pursuit of becoming a professional actor. He loves to sing, but has never had a lesson. When he is not performing, Blake works as a parrot salesman. He has received some rejection during his time in Los Angeles, but continues to forge ahead because of the love he has for his craft.  Blake was discovered through industry channels to audition for “The Glee Project.”

...Chord Overstreet dyes his hair brown and auditions for the Glee Project!  Or, conversely, Justin Bieber on roids.

Seriously, isn't the resemblance to Overstreet like...eerie?  It's kind of creeping me out.  Don't get me wrong--boy is still awfully fuckable (I really hope he plays for my team, only so I don't swoon over another straight guy all season long) but seriously?  You've never had a singing lesson?  Oh Jesus, this is, as Damian would say, going to be a train crash.

Also, I fully support this kid's occupation as a parrot salesman.  No, I really did not make that up. 

...twenty bucks says this kid ends up in porn.

Dani, 23
Orlando, FL
Dani has been performing since she completed her very first talent competition in fifth grade and won second place.  At age 16, after attending a theatre magnet program in High School, she started teaching herself how to play the guitar and write original songs, and has since written and independently released four albums and two singles. Dani made it on to the Top 48 of “America’s Got Talent” season six last year (2011), and gained a devoted following of online fans from doing so.  She loves to mix up her acts with bits of comedy, rap, and audience participation. With such an independent attitude, Dani has expressed that she would want to play an androgynous female who bravely walks away from her Mormon upbringing if she ever got the opportunity to be on “Glee.” Dani originally auditioned for “The Glee Project” at the Nashville open casting call.

Who the hell puts 'second place in a fifth grade talent show' as the first line in their introduction to the world?  Seriously, people.

Anyways, this is apparently the 'Bieber drag' portion of our program.  Like, seriously girl, I know you probably tell everyone that Tegan and Sarah had that hair first, but it needs to GO.  Also, generally dressing like a preteen boy would have helped in making you look less less the Biebs.

Not only that, but couldn't they just have re-cast Ellis?  I'm sure their styles are completely different, but come on--Ryan Murphy would be writing the same exact part for both of them, with the imagination he's got.

Oh, and before I forget:

Somebody needs reality TV rehab.  Oh, this one's gonna be a fun time.

Now I want her to get far, just so she can do her Bieber parody on Glee.  She's really got that star power thing going for her.  And by that, I mean she looks like Justin  Bieber.

Shanna, 21
Auburn, AL
Shanna has been involved in the music scene for 17 years. She is an experienced tuba and trombone player, and has recently recovered from a vocal fold surgery. Determined to break free of the stereotypes surrounding her in high school, Shanna became involved in sports such as swimming, softball and basketball and also made time for show choir, band, color guard, beta club and Spanish club. She is currently a student at Auburn University. Shanna originally auditioned for “The Glee Project” online and at the Nashville open casting call.

Yay! A non-bieber!

Let's get real: this girl either sings musical theater or country, is probably really sweet, and is already boring me to death.  In her bio, it says that she tried to 'overcome stereotypes' in high school by basically participating in every extracurricular activity that would get her into college.  I would now like to know what stereotype she was fighting against, because acting like a crazy overachiever isn't going to get people to ignore the fact that you look like a crazy overachiever.

But hey, I like your dress! get cut first, right?

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