Let me rephrase: pretty much everybody did amazingly this week, with one exception. I haven't kept it a secret that Samuel, who certainly has his strengths, does not impress me as frequently as several others on this show do. He doesn't sing the way I like men to sing, dreads give me the heeby-jeebies, and I think he's been the most redundant performer the show's had, save Cameron and his proclivity for stumbling all over himself.
Although I will say that I do dig his crucifix.
And the way he flips his hair...and his eyes...and his face. Basically, I'd totally fuck the guy, but he probably wouldn't be my pick for the win.
"I feel very believable today. The only question I keep asking myself is: am I trying to make
them believe what they want me to make them believe?"
Or to guard my liquor cabinet. Like, what kind of quantum, cosmic blabber was that all up in the there? Did someone give him Lindsay's downers? That would explain quite a bit, actually.
Like why he took on Marissa's 'bitchily passing out' routine for the homework assignment. Like, what the what was that? He growled through the whole song, until he, oh, I don't know, woke up for a hot second and belted out a line or two. And the expression on his face read "I see your true colors, and they fill me with a mixture of ennui and rage. Now can I wrap this up and take a quick nap?" What kind of thing is that to say to a friend in need?
"Samuel...your choice was so...wrong. I mean strong. It was grating, um, GREAT!"
And how awkward was her attempt to compliment him when she clearly didn't like his performance? Granted, it would suck to single him out like that when everyone did so well, and there were definitely times where Samuel did do something interesting with the song, but she could have slipped in a little bit more covert bitchitude than she did.
Dear Producers: Samuel is not good at singing girls songs. We get it now.
I didn't mind what he was doing here, actually, but he just had WAY too much vibrato going on. That, coupled with the strained look on his face and the weird way he was holding his body all read: "I REALLY need to pee."
"Great, now do it one more time. Think of waterfalls."
Which Nikki of course caught on to. Sometimes you just have to love that woman.
Of course, everything up to this point pales in comparison to the look on Samuel's face, upon realizing that he was going to have to act this week.
"This is the first time I've ever been examined as an actor."
Sweetheart, excuse me for being blunt, but: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GOING ON FOR THE PAST EIGHT WEEKS?
Seriously, what kind of acid trip did he just come down off of?
"I love the fact that this is done so much in close-up."
Apparently the same one as Ulrich, here, because in case he's forgotten, all of these videos have been primarily close-ups.
It was endearing how excited he was about it, but again...why did he treat it like it was their first time on set?
"This is the first time he really has to be vulnerable."
And final our final stop on the WTF Railroad: correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there an entire week dedicated to that concept? Seriously, you guys, what the fuck were you drinking?
I want some.
Five screen shots, two facial expressions: angry and surprised. You guys tell me how I feel.
"I'm already imagining this place fully packed."
Okay, fine: this was adorable.
You know, this wasn't particularly bad, but it was clearly not what Ryan was looking for. It wasn't a great vocal, and the performance seemed a little lazy, but overall, he did portray a character. The only thing is that the character he portrayed was 'rock star', not 'vulnerable outcast', which is apparently all Ryan is looking for at this point.
"Blah blah blah, Christianity..."
"I have a Jesus tattoo right here, you wanna see? I can get more of them!"
You know, I get why he did this, but it was a pretty pathetic way of doing it--basically begging for Ryan to keep him in the running. I've seen more dignified pleas on Rupaul's Drag Race.
So for reasons that I completely disagree with, but can easily explain, Samuel stays in the running. It's not that I don't think that, cumulatively, he doesn't deserve to be there: if anything, Samuel was strong coming out of the gate, and pretty much stayed strong throughout the weeding process. But now that we're down to the final few, it's become very apparent that he has a tendency to be one note, and that note didn't work at all this week. Samuel should have been the one going home.