Saturday, August 6, 2011

Pearce is FIERCE

True story: I just read through the "Teenage Dream" lyrics for a title--most horrific lyrics ever.  It's like it was written by a toddler with a unnaturally premature libido.  I was waiting for the 'I make a pee-pee' line to rhyme with 'skintight jeans'.


It was really fun seeing everyone's reaction to seeing sexuality on the board.  To me, Lindsay's reads "GREAT. Because people really needed more of a reason to call me a slut."

"Touched for the very first time...something like that."

This is mostly just adorable.  In the casting episode, Zach said something along the lines of "Lindsay has the kind of voice people pay to hear," and these little blips of her singing out of performance mode really go to prove that.  Everyone else sounds...okay, but Lindsay sounds like she could be in concert whenever she opens her mouth.  I was definitely wrong about her lack of natural talent--girl has it pouring out of every pore.


I'd also like to commend her for the get up she has on here--everyone else looks like they're hanging at the break room at Old Navy, but Lindsay heard sexuality and was like "Nope, PIRATE WENCH."  Come to think of it, she's always much more interestingly costumed than the rest of the cast for these things.


She didn't nail this, for me.  Sure, the vocal was great, but her performance seemed a little...exhausted?  Maybe it's just because the crew couldn't get a shot of her without shadows on her face.  Either way, something seemed a slight bit off with her this time.


Maybe it's because they told her the music video was going to be Katy Perry before they actually performed.  Just look at how happy she looks getting the news.  Something tells me her internal monologue is something like "I'm a singer, not a shouter."

Oh how I hate Katy Perry's 'music'.

For the first time ever, Lindsay leaves the recording studio without giving a Grammy worthy performance.  Probably because this song is, again, not sung so much as screamed and whispered.

 "I'm counting on you to make this piece of shit sound good."
 *foolishly tries to apply singing technique to Katy Perry song*
"Oh good lord--this 'song' sold how many copies?"

To be fair, Nikki did actually seem truly disappointed that Lindsay struggled so much.  At the same time though, she was so very obviously aware that the song was going to give everyone problems because it's...just not actually sung.  It's essentially just coughed up.  Like hangover vomit, which incidentally is the inspiration of Katy Perry's current single.  What an artist.

And of course, like a true mathematician, Lindsay figures out that she has to be PHENOMENAL in the video to counteract her less than stellar studio performance.

"Damian and I will be making some serious heat."

STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN I WILL CUT YOU, BITCHHHHHHHHH.

eh hem.


I was really impressed with how Lindsay handled being stressed out in a strenuous situation--having to rely on someone who was completely un-confident in his acting and dancing to get you out of a possible bottom three situation has to be terrifying.  In all honesty, I was expecting a completely epic diva meltdown that would have made Naomi Campbell blush, and left Damian in the ICU.  Imagine my disappointment that the most drama we got was seeing Lindsay get her foot stepped on.


I generally try to limit myself to three screen shots for each music video section, but Lindsay merited a few more for this performance--she was REALLY impressive in this video.  Just look at her emotion range--very subtle, very believable, very real.  She seemed like a cheerleader about to make out with her football player crush for the first time.

Erica thought she and Hannah were the best in this video--far better than either of the boys.  She commented that Lindsay knows what she's doing, but you can tell she knows what she's doing.  In other words, she could tell Lindsay knows how to act.

"Just say it."

Did anyone else think it was absolutely bizarre that she thought she was going to be in the bottom?  I mean, their critique of her was, essentially, "You were better than Damian because you were so in character and he was struggling to keep up with you."  That sounds awfully complimentary to me.


And then she was even more surprised, possibly even upset that she was in the Top 3.  Girl, learn to take a compliment--you used to be so good at giving yourself them.


We're gonna end with this because she looks adorable.

3 comments:

  1. first screenshot of her surprise face just blew me away, can't stop laughing!

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  2. definitely thought she was super awesome. I am really liking her after the Theatricality episode.

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  3. I like Lindsay too and thought she did well. More importantly, I hate Katy Perry, thank you for hitting that nail on the head.

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