I have two things I'd like to divulge. One, I always assumed that the Final 3 would consist of Cameron, Alex, and Lindsay. Two, I was doubting my assumption this episode:
Because I thought Lindsay might have been going home. Here's the thing: Ryan Murphy loves asymmetry, so there was an almost definite chance that one of the girls was going home this week. Given this assumption, I had to also think of which one of the girls would make it through. And I began to get very worried for Lindsay--all season long they've been painting her as this hyperactively competitive bitch with the emotional capacity of...well, Nikki. Hannah, on the other hand, has been illustrated as having grown and changed and established herself as an unexpected frontrunner. Glee eats that shit up like it's free ice cream at a Summer theme park.
And then I watched the episode.
"It's going to be different, but I'm very excited."
"Why is it always math class?!"
Were...were they setting her up to be relatable? Funny, even? Holy shit, were they acknowledging the adorable, clever, sweet, and personable girl that she's proven to be outside of the show?! Did the editors get a firm backhand from Mama Bear Pearce? (Who, by the way, is AWESOME.)
Whatever the reason, it was SO refreshing to get to see Lindsay as who she seems to be, rather than the girl the producers created for entertainment purposes.
Okay, somebody upped her dosage, and I am NOT cool with it. That was like a lullaby. A sweet, flawlessly sung lullaby. I figured that this challenge was either going to Lindsay or Hannah, because, one, they had the best voices for it, and two, a girl SERIOUSLY needed to win a challenge. Thankfully for the producers, Samuel decided that all of his friends sucked and their colors looked like vomit, Alex's was possibly a little too sugary sweet, and Damian's was just too sexy for Jenna. Or something along those lines. Lindsay was a pretty close second to Hannah in my eyes, but a definite second nonetheless.
And now ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most epic moment of the show thus far:
"He just kinda squints and stares at you intensely, which is, you know, GREAT, for
somethings, and for others it's...not so...awesome."
somethings, and for others it's...not so...awesome."
I may have actually soiled myself when she made this face: it was just so funny. Oh, I wish Lindsay was more hardcore more often. I find myself hoping that she gets cast on the show, but has to act the part as though she were Samuel. I might actually start watching Glee consistently again.
"Great. I can only imagine which part of it I'll be singing."
This show owes her something at least for essentially being the only one able to belt the crap out of the bridge of each week's song. The only thing different about this particular week is that they actually let her sing something, as opposed to basically giving her one or two notes to tie the whole thing together.
Initially, I laughed pretty hard at this, I'm not going to lie, and my first instinct was to be like "Oh yeah, real subtle acting, Lindsay." But then I thought about it for a second: this is exactly what happens to me when I get emotional. Instead of getting all breakdown-y and blubbery, I get frustrated and teary-eyed, and try to push out what I'm feeling. I'll assume that Lindsay is the same way, which means that, technically, Nikki was right that Lindsay was trying to force something. However, it wasn't that she was trying to force emotion--she was trying to get what she was feeling out, and the pressure of the situation was making it difficult.
"Did she just call me awesome?"
Although I have to admit that Lindsay calling her awesome was just purely hilarious, and definitely in line with the Lindsay that I used to call a bitch all the time. Affectionately called a bitch, that is--us gays love our bitches.
Oh, and her vocal? Stunning. I was seriously wrong when I said that Marissa was a better singer than Lindsay--I respond better to the way Marissa sings, but I'm pretty sure Lindsay could kill, or at least maim someone with that voice if she tried hard enough.
In other news:
I think the hair and make up gays were having a little too much fun with this one.
"Lindsay's performance is really nice, I just wish it was...line?"
Let's take a vote. I can't come up with which of these was my better reaction--you tell me:
A) COULD YOU BE ANY MORE TRANSPARENT?
Seriously jazz pants? I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I had a huge lump in my throat for the entire time Lindsay was on screen--I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The range of emotion that effortlessly rolled over her face was breathtaking--no blatant smiling or sad eyes, just pure, reactionary emotion that had me believing that Lindsay may have actually had a thing for Samuel. Honey, a bit of advice? DON'T.
I mean, COME ON: This is Sam's solo, Lindsay is out of focus and out of frame, and she is STILL the one I'm looking at. Girl shouldn't have been anywhere near the bottom three, not because there was nothing to put her there, but because she just wiped the floor with the rest of them in terms of acting this week.
I will say, however, that her lip synch and acting were distracting different in tone from her vocal. Like Alex, she sort of had a choice to make: make the vocal fit, or make it believable. Lindsay chose the latter, unlike Alex, but it didn't pay off. That infinitesimal misstep is probably what put her up for elimination this week.
I don't have a whole hell of a lot to say about Lindsay's last chance performance. It was significantly better than what both Hannah and Samuel offered up this week, and every time I thought Lindsay had hit her limit, she jumped an octave. It was pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.
"I don't root for you, and I don't know why."
"Because I'm gorgeous, jaw-droppingly talented, and confident?"
"Oh, right: you have self-esteem. Yeah, that has no place on my show."
This is the part I can't stand about Glee: this whole 'we're all in this together' bullshit. Listen, Asshat McLEARNTOWRITECOMPLEXITY, not every teenager has to have some life altering epiphany about every single problem or insecurity. Many of them quietly buck up and get past it. Maybe they have a little cry along the road to recovery or inner peace or whatever, but they don't have a freaking meltdown because they, oh, I don't know, don't get to perform last at an empty benefit concert, or have a muscular build as opposed to an insanely unrealistic model's build like one of their teammates, or HAVE A FREAKING HANGOVER.
In case you can't tell, watching this particular scene made me furious. Why?
Because the guy was only happy with her, ONCE HE MADE HER CRY.
WHAT KIND OF SICK BULLSHIT IS THAT?
Had this been me, son of a bitch would have had a microphone thrown at his head, so kudos to Lindsay for keeping her composure.
So the episode ends bittersweetly, with Lindsay nearly bursting into tears upon seeing Hannah's name there instead of hers. You could tell from their dialogue this week--as well as their seeming inseparability since the show began airing--that they really did form a very strong bond on the show. It must have felt awful to see her friend's name on that list, especially when she expected to be the one packing her bags.