Saturday, July 23, 2011

MASSIVE SLUT


Yeah, look at that.  That right there? FACE OF ALL EVIL

Lindsay "It's kind of funny because we're kind of like, complete opposites."
Samuel "I'm going to sing over you like a dickkkkkk."

Or, you know, not at all.

Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay.  I love you DEARLY because you give me some of the most fantastic screenshots and soundbites a reality TV blogger could ask for.  And to be fair, your consistently caffeinated personality does actually seem to annoy the fudge out of your fellow Glee Whores.

"I think seeing Darren Criss twice in my life is fine with me."

But if we're being honest here, I really didn't notice Lindsay being a bitch at all this episode.  Sure, they worked their asses off trying to make her seem like she could melt small children with a single glance, but thankfully the Glee Project editors fucking suck at their jobs don't understand the concept of continuity, because that girl up there?  Adorable.


Although I have to say, this really was NOT Lindsay's week.  Lindsay is the kind of girl who is, to be frank, just too perfect to complement or be complemented effectively by another actor or singer.  Girl is a true Broadway powerhouse in line with Idina Menzel and Sutton Foster.  Her voice will rip yours to pieces.  However, when comes to figuring out how to mold her gift into working with another person's voice, she's just not quite there yet.

 "I'm excited [...] It's less of a 'I'm trying to shove everybody aside to get my space."

This is what I mean by continuity.  Oh editors.  How silly you are to think that us gays...


WOULDN'T PICK UP ON THE FACT THAT SHE'S IN HAIR AND MAKE UP FROM THE NEXT DAY. Seriously, guys, this is the GLEE PROJECT.  Maybe we'd miss if she, I don't know, scored a touchdown or whatever, but do not fuck with us when it comes to primping.  Take a class from Ms. Chanel, and learn to edit.

And secondly, trying to convey Lindsay as a competitive, Machiavellian bitch doesn't exactly work when she's exclaiming about how excited she is to not have to shove everybody aside to get her spotlight.  Girl is just excited to do the job.


And lastly, way to have Lindsay go from sitting down to standing up during her reaction to Marissa's kiss.  This is why you guys work the Oxygen reality TV circuit.

"No more 'Miss Nice Girl'; it's time for me to put a little umph in me."

Although, I do have to give them credit--they did get some pretty cute shots of Lindsay in.  Sure, they were completely contradictory to the character they were trying to portray her as, but whatever.  Still cute.


In any case, Lindsay did amazingly in the video.  Cameron wasn't exactly lighting up the screen, so she probably figured that she had a bit more work to do, and she did it--girl pulled out every Betty Draper stop she had.
And then of course this.  There's really nothing to say that I haven't said.  It was clearly another one of the director's surprise kisses.  In fact, it worked about 300 times better with this song, because it breaks the sexual tension the song is supposed to be setting up.

"I'm sitting there looking at Cameron thinking 'oh no'."

And you guys, she felt bad about it.  The only thing that could have suggested otherwise was the sloppily cut and pasted quote right after it that was clearly NOT contiguous.


So Lindsay finally gets to do a last chance performance, and uses her voice to rip Asshat McLayering's face off.  Also: HOW CUTE IS SHE IN THAT SECOND SHOT?


Oh, and she kisses Cameron again as a sort of 'fuck you' to Eric and the production staff.  Except this time there was no director telling her to surprise him, and he's completely okay with it.  SHOCKING.

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