Saturday, July 16, 2011

Can't Touch These

So I just realized that I'm not going to have internet AGAIN this weekend, so it's time to break out the big guns.

You know, Lindsay and Marissa.  Don't look at me like that.

Instead, LOOK AT HOW AWESOME THOSE EARRINGS ARE.  Seriously, this screen shot is my desktop background right now. I cannot get over those things.

Marissa and Lindsay were both relatively quiet this episode--well, not quite quiet...

As much as quietly kicking ass.

In my opinion, these girls, along with Cameron, are essentially untouchable.  At least until a few more people get sent packing.

I thought Marissa had some pretty freaking cute moves for this challenge--pounding her chest at the lyric 'hey soul sister' had me reeling.  The only issues I had with them was that they were perhaps a little too calculated, but nonetheless adorable.  And she sang really well too.

But don't be fooled by that bit of cuteness:

Marissa will cut you.  She will cut you, flay you, and eat you alive.

Does anyone else think the make up gays got a little too carried away for this challenge?  Marissa is like, one pair of cigarette sunglasses away from looking like Lady Gaga.  I mean, she looks HOT, but she also looks...maybe a little too eighties?  I don't know--you guy tell me.

And another thing: she was totally right about endorsing hair products--look at that HAIR.  I'm surprised Garnier hasn't tattooed their logo to her forehead yet.

 Regardless, girl KILLED IT in the video.  Easily the most fun to watch--huge energy, great movement, spectacular vocal--I mean, she's really not making it easy for anyone else to move up my list.  And again--because I am shamelessly homosexual--I have to comment on the hair.  Seriously.  Pantene?  Herbal Essence?  Whoever else makes haircare products?  God says 'you're welcome'

Although she definitely moved something last night.
"I ended up having a solo booty popping session...and it was awesome."

And by something, I mean the collective pants of every boyfriend in America gets sat down to watch this show every Sunday night.  And how cute was it that she was like, mega excited about it?  Beyonce be jealous, yo.  Someone go verify this for me.

In other news:

The world has turned upside down and backwards.  Whoever came up with the idea to make Lindsay gangsta for a day needs an Emmy.  And a promotion.  This screenshot is currently making my life worth living.

Other than that, it seems Lindsay finally did send that angry email--to the producers, that is.  For once they didn't make her out to be a bitch.  That or they finally found her meds.

"I'm starstruck!"

Which fucking sucks for me.  You guys, I need Lindsay to be stark raving vain.  Half of my blog content comes from her insistence on being persistently, neurotically vain and underhandedly bitchy.  This cute shit better be temporary.

 GUH.  What am I supposed to say?  Um, she was...a little pitchy?

Ugh this is impossible.  She looks like Dororthy Gale's more adorable, younger sister.  The one Toto wouldn't run away from because she fed him table scraps on filet mignon.  Some production assistant better be replacing her downer with an amphetamine, or her water with one hundred proof vodka.

On the other hand--HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH A CUTE LITTLE GANGSTA BABY!?  Look at her!  It's like Baby Gap meets Kanye...which totally needs to happen.

Also, was anyone else surprised at just how good Lindsay seemed to be at this choreography?  I mean, looking back, I was surprised at how surprised I was--she really gets how to dance, possibly just as much as Alex does.  Which makes him even more bitchy looking, given that he out bitched Lindsay.  Isn't there a Nobel Proze for that?

And in conclusion, Lindsay is fully comfortable being a Baby Gap ghetto ho;

And this is just plain adorable.


  1. Wow, that dog is cute hahah. I totally loooove Marissa, she is so adorable *.* And Lindsay is a great dancer and singerrr, I love how she sang Mad World. And Marissa's story let me shocked u.u

  2. really reaally loved the blog!!!! you're hillarious seriously you're better than perez hilton lol! niceeee loved the dog and Marissa's earrings!!!

  3. This video was my favorite ever, Lindsay, Cameron, Hannah, Marissa, Damien and Samuel were GREAT!
    I really did love Lindsays singing and dance moves =)
    Btw I just found your blog, I love it =) Maybe not all the profanities.. but oh well what can I do?
    I;m reading every single post from the beginning =)