Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sixth Episode Rankings

So these were interesting this week.  I may start having you guys do a vote for Gleek Project Favorite of the week--my opinions are kind of boring.

Anyways, let's rank these kids getting slushied.

7) Alex

Initially, I had Alex at six this week, until I thought of one thing: he isn't trying AT ALL.  His homework, video, attitude, and Effie White moment were all totally half assed; kid is completely relying on his voice and persona to get him by in this competition.  I still would have sent Cameron packing instead, but Alex was definitely a weaker link this week--YOU DO NOT HALF ASS EFFIE WHITE, KID.

6) Cameron

Do we even need to discuss why he should have gone home this week?  I mean, he was the only one to force a cut, he could barely manage lip-synching, and his bottom three performance was easily the least impressive.  Not to mention the past four of five weeks he's been in the bottom, AND he was the only person in the bottom 3 who had not won a homework challenge...the list goes on.  He just totally sucked this week after several other lackluster weeks. 

5) Damian

I originally put Damian pretty high on this list, too, but then I realized that he really didn't do much this episode.  What he did, he did fairly well, but there weren't any stand out moments.  Damian was just cute the whole time.  I probably wouldn't have put him in the bottom three, but...I can't put him higher with such an...un-tenacious performance.

4) Hannah

Hannah for me just did okay this week--I really admire her efforts and attitude, and her video performance was still pretty awesome, but there was no doubt that she definitely faltered compared to the last few episodes.

3) Marissa

She was tied with Hannah for me until I realized just how much more work Marissa had to do for this epsiode.  Again, not her best week, but significantly better than she was given credit for.  Would not have been in the bottom for me.

2) Lindsay

SO CLOSE.  Honestly, had they give her a little more to do in the video, as well as vocally, she would have probably snatched the number one spot this week--I mean, HOW CUTE WAS SHE IN THAT VIDEO? Although I'm not completely certain in that hypothetical victory--her homework performance was fairly weak.

1) Samuel

Sammy here just kicked EVERYONE'S asses this week.  His homework totally tied Marissa's, and his video performances cruched everyone elses--this boy is really becoming the one to beat.  Although, I said that about Marissa last week, so what do I know?

Just Go Home Already

You guys, this week has been a hellish endeavor for about a million reasons, and I just haven't had the time to write these posts.  I'll be posting more regularly for the remaining episodes, now that I've gotten a few personal things out of the way, but I really just have to throw in the towel on these two this week.  I'm just going to jot down some quick thoughts.


Cameron: While he was okay in the homework assignment, he was also completely predictable throughout the whole episode.  He's fallen into whatever character he chose to be for the theatricality challenge, and he can't get out.  His performance in the video was awful, his attitude is very defeatist...I just can't understand why he stayed.  Sure, his original song was cute and well written, but he's just not an actor.  If he can turn it around majorly this week, I still have some space in my heart for him, but after that, I give up.


Alex: UGH, no. I have zero patience left.  He's a kid.  He doesn't seem to put any effort into anything and if he doesn't need to, whatever--by this point, he should have realized that they are ALWAYS WATCHING, and that his effort is pretty much 60% of the factors that decide whether he stays or goes.  He doesn't put in the effort time after time, and it's passed time for him to take a hike.  He's a very vocally capable singer, but there are plenty of capable singers, and 95% of them are also ready to kick their own asses to be as amazing as possible.  And that Effie performance was LAZY.

Tenacity Means To Be Tenacious

First Marissa with her booty popping, then Hannah with her pairability crush, and now THIS:


SHARING A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE WITH LINDSAY?!  You WHORE.

Anyways, let's talk about my darling Lindsay for a second.


Who apparently thought their song was 'Whip My Hair'.

"Tenacity means to be tenacious; it means to be 'grrr'."

There's not much to say here.  Lindsay did Lindsay: she looked fierce, belted Max's face off, and then sat back down.  It's just her thing, and she wasn't the only one who resorted to what they knew would work.  Her interpretation of 'tenacity' just happens to resonate more with me than say Cameron's does.

Also, after that definition of 'tenacity', I was going to give her a pass with whatever she ended up doing challenge-wise--that line was just gold.

"We need to be slushied and it needs to happen soon."

I believe that this girl wanted to be slushied just as much as she wanted Alex to set fire to her hair, but she certainly made it believable enough for the producers, who just sort of passed her by this week.  Smart girl--got as little slushy screen time as possible.*

*total conjecture


Or not.  Knowing how much Lindsay cares about her hair, they must have held a lighter under her contract all during this vignette to get her to go through with it.


It was ridiculously hard to get screenshots of Lindsay for this music video, because she and Damian were barely in it.  She just always seems to get that one huge note, and then she either looks fierce or adorable, depending on the mood of the video.  In this particular one, she happened to just have the perfect demeanor for what was going on.  I thought her performance was easily top two.

In other words, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THAT CRAZY BITCH I FELL IN LOVE WITH?


Sweet mother of Jesus, that boy is like sex on a stick wrapped in hot with do-me sauce.

But seriously, I thought he was mega cute in his homework assignment thinger.  Sure, the American accent thing is...weird, but this time it kinda worked for him; the bluesy growl that it gives him is much better than that sleepy Celtic Thunder croon he defaults to otherwise.

"The only person who I haven't seen do it once is Alex--he's got a bit of a lazy attitude to him."

See, he can be a judgmental bitch too!  TOTALLY ON MY TEAM.  I need him to be--do you SEE how cute he is up there? Do you?!


One of my favorite parts of this episode, however, was watching Damian attempt to get through the filming of the music video.  A, it was hot, B, it was HI-LAR-I-OUS.  Just all of the barely concealed ducking mixed with the un-controllable rage spasms made my heart all tingly.


At this point, I feel like I'm just trying to fill space.  Damian did fairly well in the video--good presence, good acting, good singing: exactly what was required of him for the small role he played.


Fine, whatever, go make babies--you look freaking adorable together anyways.

From MC Hannah to Hanilla Ice

Okay, seriously.  Whoever chooses these songs has terrible taste in rap.  And apparently never left the eighties.


Although apparently neither has Hannah's taste in eyewear.  Hey, whatever works.

"I have all this confidence I didn't have before."

Oh her opening lines in this episode, how they wounded me.  On the one hand, I was so happy to hear her really recognizing how much she had grown in this competition, and just how much of a threat she was in it after last episode.  But on the other, I just knew that she was most likely going to have said confidence crushed in the upcoming challenges.  After her sexy little performance in the homework, however, I had high hopes that I'd be eating those hypothetical words.

 "The choreography...my my..."

And then this happened.  Had I been on this show, as soon as they told me I had to do choreography, I would have politely declined and changed career paths.  Far be it from me to make excuses for her, but this did seem a little unfair.  Hannah is heavier, so a move wherein she had to push herself up off the floor was going to be harder for her.  But again, girl just did not give up.


Until they went after something that she actually was confident about.  That was just...a shockingly expedient debacle.  Although Nikki psyching her up and being a bitch about it didn't help much.

 "Hey douchey looking assistant guy, watch this."
 "Hey Hannah, if you don't get this in one take, I'm gonna emasculate Damian."
 *self-esteem melting*
"I crack myself up."

I mean, seriously now bottle-blonde.  Stop doing everything the producers ask of you just because they call you pretty first.

"Fat kids don't do floor work!"

This is when I knew she was going to be okay.  Granted, it was a complete bastardization of something Alex had just said to her, but girl took it, stepped up on that soap box, flipped off the producers, and told it like it is.

"It might not be pretty, but I'm gonna get through it."

And then nailed it.  Again.  Seriously.   Hannah just cannot do any wrong once that camera is pointed in her direction. She was made for a show like Glee.  Or any show really--if Asshat McHorriddecisions (it's Scandinavian) doesn't pick her up, someone out there has to have seen how friggin' awesome this girl is.  Check out that second shot--how many people do you know who can make a slushy spill look fierce and divatastic?

I know I also keep throwing in Hannah quotes for these photo that aren't particularly funny, but I just love them--they show exactly the type off attitude more people should have about EVERYTHING.

Oh, and that choreography?


So awful that not only was it massively cut from the video, but the parts that were used, had to be played backwards to make any kind of sense at all.  Hannah was right to be all 'what-EVER' about it.


It feels redundant to say so, but Hannah really did a fantastic job in her portion of the video.  Glamorous slushy vixen?  Yes please.


I could definitely see how Hannah could have ended up in the bottom three, but she should have been up against Marissa for that--Cameron and Alex were complete shoe-ins for this one.  As it was, they just seemed to want to make Hannah cry.  Assholes.

But no, Hannah lives another week, and I have just one more reason to watch this show, other than Lindsay and the possibility of Damian taking his shirt off at some point.

"I just started eating it."

You tell them, girl.