Thursday, June 30, 2011

Let's Get Physical

I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who now expect to see an Olivia Newton-John reference.  There will be no such nonsense on this insightful, respectable blog.

Screen shots of Hannah making hysterical faces, on the other hand, will always be welcome.  If they do in fact cut her (as they're setting up for next week, it seems) I'm calling Ellis and burning Asshat McBeanie's Urban Outfitters wardrobe.

Anyways, there's a reason that I put Hannah and Matheus together, as different as they seem.  But I'll touch on later.  For now, let's deal with Hannah.

"I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound fun."

Hannah here did kinda meh in the homework assignment this week.  She always does this strange lunging forward thing when she's singing, and while it's been more or less harmless in the past, it just looks bizarre when you're trying to convey vulnerability.  Given the song, you'd think there was some kind of "Love The Way You Lie" domestic abuse thing going on.

Although to be fair, this was the worst homework assignment yet.  I get it, I just think it was overtly cheesy.  Which is probably why Matheus won it.

"It's kind of a mean word."

Hannah, I think, took this very well.  As soon as she heard what the challenge was going to be, she had to have known what was going to be expected of her.  To be able to not only step up to the plate, but also recognize what about the word 'fat' made her so insecure (as seen above) instead of going on some generic spiel about being concerned about her weight and wanting to be skinnier showed a lot of self-acceptance and maturity.  Although I have to hate her a little bit, because it shows just how wrong I was about her.  AGAIN.

"I just put on the fat sign and rock it out; I'm not going to let my vulnerability send me home."

Just, I mean, how level headed is that!?  What a fantastic attitude to have for this kind of a challenge.  The "so what if I'm fat?" is something I wish a lot more people who are overweight would embrace.  Just because our culture has an unnatural, sexual fixation with the skeletal system, doesn't mean that packing a few extra pounds should make you feel like you're some sort of freak.


Also, I get that everything was supposed to be staged to enhance the 'vulnerability' of each character, but why have the 'fat' girl walk past a restaurant looking like she's stoned out of her mind?  Note to Glee: not all people are overweight because they eat too much.  It would have been much more fitting to see her walking past a magazine stand with all of the covers of mega skinny women blaring headlines like "How To Drop 5 Dress Sizes In 3 WEEKS!!!!!!" and all of the other ridiculous shit the those rags spew at us.

Alright:


Let's just do this.

Listen, I get that a lot of you like him; I don't.  I just don't.  The way the show is portraying him, he's cheesy, he's loud, he's immature, and instead of making him seem like the dick he's acting like, THEY ARE PATRONIZING HIM BECAUSE HE'S SHORT.

Matheus may very well be talented--personally, I don't think he is, and that may skew my opinion.  However, I'm still going to try very hard to be objective and fair in assessing his performances, but I don't think it was fair of me to not be honest about how I felt.


Him winning this challenge was bullshit.  He couldn't have been cheesier if he was soaked in Muenster.  Dot-Marie praising this after slamming Lindsay for not seeming genuine or being subtle was just laughable.

"I'm a huge fan."

*vomit*

Hey, I said I'd be objective about his performances, not his conduct.  This was just a big old basket of cheese.  And you know what, maybe Matheus is just cheesy.  But to me it seems more like he's playing for the cameras, especially since his reaction to this win...


Was miles away from when he won the first episode.  Why do I think he's playing it?  Because his reactions perfectly fit the theme of the challenge.  Anyone who wants to try to tell me he was moved enough by that P!nk song needs a slap upside the head and a reality check.


He did just okay in the video.  Well, that's actually not fair--he did very well in this part.


But sucked in his solo, yet again.  In that first shot, he looks like a cocky douche bag.  And in the second? Belting out it out.  And not vulnerably, either. 


Look, Matheus is an attractive, vivacious boy who stood out enough to win two challenges--and that's half the battle.  But let's face it; he wasn't cast because of his talent, he was cast because he was short.  His personality probably had a role in it too, but all you have to do is listen to how the mentors talk about him as though he were a child or a teddy bear.  You can tell that they aren't paying so much to his performance as to the fact that he's confident, which isn't what one would expect from someone like him.


The reason I put these two together is because both of them chose physical traits about themselves as a vulnerability.  But the connotations are very different.  'Small' isn't necessarily a negative word to use against someone, but 'fat' is only ever used to sound hurtful.  Matheus doesn't seem as insecure about being short as he does other things--for my money, he's physically very attractive.  It's unfortunate that 'small' was the best he could come up with, especially since I'm sure there are other things he's much more insecure about.

1 comment:

  1. okay I don't why they had to choose Pink's Please Don't Leave Me, when they could have picked Pink's Sober or Family Portrait which I feel are very vulnerable and can open up people...but WHATEVER

    and I totally agree with you and Matheus..everyone likes him but I feel like he is too boy-band and too much of a douche bag. And like that eyebrow thing with "It's a Mad World" I am like PLEASE send him home!!!

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