Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Last Chance For McBumpkin and Pequenito

Doesn't that sound like a fantastic children's book?

Sigh...things do not bode well for McBumpkin when I go through the first 10 minutes of the episode and can't get any interesting screen shots of her, thus forcing me to start with Matheus.

"I'm sorry, my body just likes to roll."

If Elvis were alive today, this would be his catch phrase.  Although Alex's comeback telling him to tell it to stop was pretty freaking hilarious.  Like, if Aretha Jr. is telling you to tone it down, Pequenito, it may be time to re-evaluate your signature move.

He did pretty well in what was the most sexual interpretation of Bad Romance ever.  Seriously, Lady Gaga probably watched that and got jealous of how explicit sexual they let some of these kids be.  But yeah, for some reason Matheus always does well in the short challenge...

...and kinda flops in the main challenge.  I like to think I get him: give him praise, he does fine.  Take it away, and he completely flounders, and starts acting out.  In other words, he...just isn't cut out for this.  They made the point to Ellis that this show is hard work, and more than anything, these kids need to realize that.  Matheus needs to understand--the way Lindsay, Samuel, Cameron, McKynleigh, Marissa, and most of the rest of the cast do--that being an actor, you aren't necessarily always going to get praised for doing good work.  You just have to do the work and know that it's good, but still realize that it is work.

Do I really even need to comment on this?  It was horrible and he should have gone home for it.  I realize that Glee is not a show that's necessarily heavy on natural vocal talent, and that plenty of characters exist just as characters (see, Sue Sylvester) but if each challenge every week is going to be about singing and performing, they have to stay consistent, and cut those who have trouble (or plainly cannot) sing, as well as those who have no idea to perform.  I mean, jumping around screeching the chorus, and then pretending all of a sudden in the verses that 'Gives You Hell' is some monotone, sullen number?  This is how my ten year old nephew would perform the song, only in his case, it would be cute.  Here it's just sloppy and amateur looking.

On the other side of the coin, we have McKynleigh:

Who is a great, polished performer, but can't seem to break away from the fact that she's performing.  She, as they said, basically needs to act like the character she wants to become without compromising the person she's already set herself up as.

Anyways, let's talk about her singing and stuff:
This was by no means bad, but that Nikki chick...ugh.  She is either looking for a new gal pal or a new fuck buddy, and if you are Lindsay or Cameron, you can forget about it.  You are dead to her.  What kind of critique is 'she wasn't having fun'?  She's in a recording studio singing the most boring line of the song, which you assigned her.

Not having fun my ass--I'm terrified of saying she is cute, because...well, look what happened to Ellis.  Clearly, McKynleigh loves performing and acting and singing. I mean, Lindsay wouldn't have even kissed somebody on stage, if we're to believe her cover up for calling that jock ugly.  But hell, give Mickey here some water to spit at a camera, and she loves it.

Ugh, I mean she is so clearly not having any fun at all, am I right?  Shut the fuck up, Bottle Blonde.

This performance was really only okay.  They over exaggerated how great it was, but to be fair, it was vocally much better than either Ellis or Matheus.  Although I would have preferred to listen to the uncut version of Lindsay's definition of theatricality, rather than listen to Matheus's performance again.

"He said there's no personality behind [my voice] so...where is there to go from that?"

I feel for her the same way I felt for Ellis about the confidence thing--that is a really hard concept to think about: making yourself more outwardly appealing, altering your personality because someone deems it not good enough.  That has to be the most heartbreaking thing you can hear as an actor.

Personally, I think she gives a pretty good bitch face.  Plus, Bitchface McBumpkin just kind of rolls off the tongue, no?  If she established herself as sort of a country Quinn, I could totally see her as a character on Glee.  They kind of need a new delicate, heartless bitch on the show anyways now that they've humanized Dianna Agron.  Plus, she could give Rachel a run for her money with the pipes she has.  Damn, I can see it now.

"It's a hard note to give an actor--you're basically saying 'you're boring me.'"

Too bad Asshat can't, you know, do his job and come up with a character for her.


  1. i couldnt agree more, i cannot believe Matheus stayed after that atrocious gives you hell

  2. I totally disagree! Matheus was the only one that stood out with his last chance performance. People want to be entertained and he definitely put on a show. He could of just stood there and sung the song karaoke style, but that would of been boring as hell. He chose to showcase his exuberant personality and that's exactly what the judges wanted and that is why he's still in the competition.

  3. I totally thought you were one of my children's book writer friends on my blog list just now! So funny you wrote that first sentence.
    I'll see what I can do with it. ;)