Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Gleek Project: Let's get into this

So yeah:

This happened.

Okay, I'm starting this blog. In it, I'm not going to talk about Glee, but The Glee Project, which has got to be my favorite idea EVER--it's like RuPaul's Drag Race...FOR GLEE. And it's name is reminiscent of Project Runway. PLUS GLEE. It's officially, and beautifully, the gayest thing EVER.

But who cares about how I feel, let's talk about how the 'contestants' (aka, pre-determined, stereotypical characters) feel.

First up we have Samuel from the above.  Samuel can kind of sing, which will be useful in the competition, it would seem.  I can't wait for his guest role as the homeless kid from the projects, who Mr. Schu discovers singing in some open sewer drain somewhere.

And then there's this adorable little multi-minority, Matheus:

who won the first challenge because he was the weirdest one there.  Like, seriously? This kid was basically grinding like a stripper for that 'Firework' video.  And then when you don't think he can get any more racy, BAM, Manhunt photo in the yearbook.  All my fellow gays will know what I mean when I say that this is that one kid that INSISTS he's a top online, and plays a whole different tune once you, er, him.

But let's look at him objectively: THIS KID CAN NEITHER SING NOR ACT.  He's essentially the 'Kurt' of the Glee Project: he has an unique, interesting personality that lends itself to easy screen writing.  However, he faces the same dilemma as Chris Colfer, in that he is completely incapable of singing.  The difference here is that Chris Colfer can act like the rent is due tomorrow, and he knows how to act like a human when he's out of character.  Matheus up there, with his ab-baring, shrieking, overly self-deprecating grasps at masking the fact that he's short, clearly hasn't learned how to deal with public perceptions and reactions of his noted physical differences.  He'll make it far (he has to: he's the 'character') but the likelihood of this kid winning it all is slim.

Next up, we learn that "The Glee Project" is basically a B-Slasher Movie:

it always cuts the hot, cocky black guy first.  To be fair, Bryce showed about as much personality and talent as your average toenail clipping, and it was a joke to even play out a possibility that he wasn't the first one to "Not Make The Callback" (which, can I say, is a DELICIOUSLY nasty way of offing people in a reality show.)  No, as soon as we heard him struggle through the lowest, most monotone part of that Stevie Wonder tune like a deer in the headlights (possibly one that had already been hit by a car--seriously, I started wondering if they'd shot some practice footage of him and edited it in) we all knew.  And to be perfectly honest, we all wanted it, too.  Kid had a 'TUDE.  And for what? He couldn't dance, he couldn't sing, he didn't have the kind of personality that lights up a room.  He had biceps. And sorry, whatever your name is, but just like Dijon Talton, there is absolutely no reason to keep you around.

To be even more fair, actually, the fact that he was SO similar to Talton is probably what got him cut--Ryan Murphy couldn't see (or hear, presumably) past the possible mega comparisons.

Also, let's face it: there is one kid who is basically programmed to win.  This show may have even been designed for him/her--you could tell just by the way he/she finagled his/her own interpretation of 'Firework'.  More on this mystery person and the other future Sunshine Corazons later.

Anyways, it's five am, and I have homework I need to finish before I go to school/work tomorrow.  I will be getting to the rest of these punks, and seeing all of you (haha, like I have readers) LATER.

1 comment:

  1. I get the title. Very nice.
    Will have to start watching the show.