Saturday, June 18, 2011

Bitch, Slut, and Homeless

So yeah, I need to knock these three out before tomorrow night, so let's get swinging!


Everyone, meet Bitch.  I seriously couldn't remember this girl existed until the third time I watched the episode--I even attributed something she said to Marissa in an earlier post.  But seriously...did this girl...do anything? Except, you know, act like Ms. "Most Likely to be Rachel Berry's Bitchy Identical Cousin"?

 "I have one of the best voices here--that's why I'm nailing it."

I mean, as obnoxious and arrogant as this was, is she wrong?  She did well with song selections, the judges seemed to like her enough to send her through, she's a good singer, actor, and hell, she's pretty.

There's only one problem:


The exact same could be said about Marissa, except Marissa is better.  It will be interesting to see the comparisons develop between the two of them, and which of them the judges favor.



That said, Lindsay's definitely got a good presence, and she's near the top in terms of vocals.  She just has the unfortunate circumstance of being up against the better, more interesting version of herself.


Come, on, I can't be the only one terrified of Mr. "Most Likely To Give Small Children Nightmares" can I?

I've already talked enough about his looks, and his personality is hard to judge because he earnestly seemed shocked to be there (which was endearing, and believable, assuming he was telling the truth about his circumstances) so I guess we'll just have to see how that one pans out.  From the rest of the cast's reaction to him, he seems like a fairly decent guy.

Unfortunately, I have issues, two, to be precise.  For starters:


Who the hell is this guy? I get it--this was great for marketing the show, but it's completely mis-representative of him as an artist, at least from how the show portrayed him in the first episode.  He seems much less hardcore, and much more easy going than this kid.  Secondly:


He's not the best singer in the group...


And despite his undeniable presence, he doesn't really have the best acting skills.  Too cliched of an approach.


He's a sweet, adorably genuine kid, with a great story, great potential, and a pretty good voice...I just don't see him happening.

And finally:


Representing every parent's worst nightmare, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Emily, aka SLUT.

(Otherwise known as 'Most Likely To Blame Her Uncle For Her Overly Assertive Sexuality'.)


But damn, girl is PRESENT.  She has drag queen levels of charisma and confidence.  She's definitely tops in terms of personality, and very close to the tops in terms of acting.  And she's a decent singer, which is clearly important but...

"I hope I get to wear a bikini."
*eyelashes flutter*
Girl, you have got the WRONG audience.

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