Thursday, June 30, 2011

Emily Vasquez-Slow Motion

Hey guys!  So I'm working on the rest of the posts for this episode, but while I'm finishing up, take a listen to Emily's new single "Slow Motion" released the day after she was cut.  

You can buy the song HERE.

I think it's actually really, really good.  I hope it hits the radio, so we all can sleep peacefully at night, knowing the radio is playing someone who actually CAN sing.

Let's Get Physical

I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who now expect to see an Olivia Newton-John reference.  There will be no such nonsense on this insightful, respectable blog.

Screen shots of Hannah making hysterical faces, on the other hand, will always be welcome.  If they do in fact cut her (as they're setting up for next week, it seems) I'm calling Ellis and burning Asshat McBeanie's Urban Outfitters wardrobe.

Anyways, there's a reason that I put Hannah and Matheus together, as different as they seem.  But I'll touch on later.  For now, let's deal with Hannah.

"I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound fun."

Hannah here did kinda meh in the homework assignment this week.  She always does this strange lunging forward thing when she's singing, and while it's been more or less harmless in the past, it just looks bizarre when you're trying to convey vulnerability.  Given the song, you'd think there was some kind of "Love The Way You Lie" domestic abuse thing going on.

Although to be fair, this was the worst homework assignment yet.  I get it, I just think it was overtly cheesy.  Which is probably why Matheus won it.

"It's kind of a mean word."

Hannah, I think, took this very well.  As soon as she heard what the challenge was going to be, she had to have known what was going to be expected of her.  To be able to not only step up to the plate, but also recognize what about the word 'fat' made her so insecure (as seen above) instead of going on some generic spiel about being concerned about her weight and wanting to be skinnier showed a lot of self-acceptance and maturity.  Although I have to hate her a little bit, because it shows just how wrong I was about her.  AGAIN.

"I just put on the fat sign and rock it out; I'm not going to let my vulnerability send me home."

Just, I mean, how level headed is that!?  What a fantastic attitude to have for this kind of a challenge.  The "so what if I'm fat?" is something I wish a lot more people who are overweight would embrace.  Just because our culture has an unnatural, sexual fixation with the skeletal system, doesn't mean that packing a few extra pounds should make you feel like you're some sort of freak.

Also, I get that everything was supposed to be staged to enhance the 'vulnerability' of each character, but why have the 'fat' girl walk past a restaurant looking like she's stoned out of her mind?  Note to Glee: not all people are overweight because they eat too much.  It would have been much more fitting to see her walking past a magazine stand with all of the covers of mega skinny women blaring headlines like "How To Drop 5 Dress Sizes In 3 WEEKS!!!!!!" and all of the other ridiculous shit the those rags spew at us.


Let's just do this.

Listen, I get that a lot of you like him; I don't.  I just don't.  The way the show is portraying him, he's cheesy, he's loud, he's immature, and instead of making him seem like the dick he's acting like, THEY ARE PATRONIZING HIM BECAUSE HE'S SHORT.

Matheus may very well be talented--personally, I don't think he is, and that may skew my opinion.  However, I'm still going to try very hard to be objective and fair in assessing his performances, but I don't think it was fair of me to not be honest about how I felt.

Him winning this challenge was bullshit.  He couldn't have been cheesier if he was soaked in Muenster.  Dot-Marie praising this after slamming Lindsay for not seeming genuine or being subtle was just laughable.

"I'm a huge fan."


Hey, I said I'd be objective about his performances, not his conduct.  This was just a big old basket of cheese.  And you know what, maybe Matheus is just cheesy.  But to me it seems more like he's playing for the cameras, especially since his reaction to this win...

Was miles away from when he won the first episode.  Why do I think he's playing it?  Because his reactions perfectly fit the theme of the challenge.  Anyone who wants to try to tell me he was moved enough by that P!nk song needs a slap upside the head and a reality check.

He did just okay in the video.  Well, that's actually not fair--he did very well in this part.

But sucked in his solo, yet again.  In that first shot, he looks like a cocky douche bag.  And in the second? Belting out it out.  And not vulnerably, either. 

Look, Matheus is an attractive, vivacious boy who stood out enough to win two challenges--and that's half the battle.  But let's face it; he wasn't cast because of his talent, he was cast because he was short.  His personality probably had a role in it too, but all you have to do is listen to how the mentors talk about him as though he were a child or a teddy bear.  You can tell that they aren't paying so much to his performance as to the fact that he's confident, which isn't what one would expect from someone like him.

The reason I put these two together is because both of them chose physical traits about themselves as a vulnerability.  But the connotations are very different.  'Small' isn't necessarily a negative word to use against someone, but 'fat' is only ever used to sound hurtful.  Matheus doesn't seem as insecure about being short as he does other things--for my money, he's physically very attractive.  It's unfortunate that 'small' was the best he could come up with, especially since I'm sure there are other things he's much more insecure about.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Lindsay Learns To Listen

Wow, I'm just cranking out the children's book titles, aren't I?

Now comes my favorite part of the blogging week: trying to get Lindsay to send me an angry email instead of the endearing tweets I keep getting.  Seriously, it gets harder and harder to be mean to this girl.

"I am one of the most vulnerable people I know."

...or not.  I mean, come ON.  Lindsay outdid herself in levels of self-regard this week.  From the above:

 "She's one of my favorite characters!"

"I don't think that at all--I really was feeling something."

To this little game of bi-polarity, I'd say my previous of Lindsay needing meds is pretty spot on, if not conservative.  Although, I have to say, before they up her dosage, they should think about the reality TV gold she has been producing in terms of reactions.

 "This chick is really going there, isn't she?"

 "Lindsay's a very smart girl, but she definitely has to learn to let other people talk."

And my personal favorite:
"You can't get a word in.  Sometimes you feel like putting a sock in her mouth."

HOW MORE PERFECT COULD SHE POSSIBLY BE!?  Inspiring shock, exhaustion, and thoughts of violence all within the first fifteen minutes?  I would marry this woman if New York hadn't just made it legal for me to marry other guys.  I almost want her to win just so she could take Lea Michele down a peg or two.


Ignoring the homework assignment (which she totally sucked at, by the way) I do have to say that something for her self assessment this week.  While at first it seemed she was going down a pretty vain road to insecurity calling herself a trophy, being able to call herself fake has got to be very hard to do.  Maybe not 'anorexic' or 'fat' hard, but to basically say 'yeah, I'm pretty sure people hate my personality' and know that it's true shows a lot of self awareness that she otherwise seems to lack.

You know, like how last week she gave everyone a lecture on how to deal with their mentors, before shitting all over Dot Marie's critique of her performance.

"That was a little too sung for my taste."

The fact that Lindsay disappointed on a vocal front was surprising, until the kind of singing expected for this challenge revealed itself in the video.  Her melodic falsetto missed the mark by a long shot.

However, Lindsay surprising excelled in the video this week.  As I've said in the past, she doesn't really pop on camera, but she showed massive vulnerability in this main challenge, and definitely popped here.  I have a theory that this 'fake' issue was not some magical revelation that Lindsay had on the show, but something people have confronted her about in the past.  The look of hurt and loneliness on her face in this scene when everyone got up and left her was too palpable to be fabricated.

In the end, Lindsay ends up on the brink of the bottom, and I have a heart attack.  Thank God for her past experience as an outcast bitch, because whichever girl went up against Asshat's hard on for both Irish Spring and Cameron the Great was going down.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I don't really know how to start this one.

Marissa's story has literally reduced me to...I can't even type.  I'm gonna start from the beginning and see if that gets me anywhere.

She did very well with this song--in my opinion, she should have won.  Even over Emily.  Clearly she grasped exactly what was going on with this week, because throughout the entire homework assignment, she looked nervous.  And then once it was announced just how far the producers were going to make them go:

she locked into this miserable, terrified facial expression, and couldn't shake it.

"My heart is pounding."

Although I have to say, she portrays sadness beautifully.  That second shot looks like an album cover.  This whole scene between her and Nikki was really touching, and it was nice to see Nikki really try to reach out to her before backing off when she knew she had gone too far. 

The editors were smart to focus so much of the episode on her face--the expressions that she had on signified true pain and suffering.  I don't mean to be insensitive; I mean to commend her.  It shows real humanity and compassion that she was so personally affected and moved by Alex's story that she felt the need to almost support him by revealing a much darker secret about herself.

This was the point that she had me near tears.  Anorexia is a deeply misunderstood disease, and revealing it to anyone, let alone a crowd of strangers who don't know the first thing about you, must have been unimaginably scary.  

"Wearing the sign is just as bad as I thought."

And I commend the filming department for being so sensitive and getting her in and out of there quickly and without judgment.  She was barely in the video, but she sang and performed beautifully, as always.

Marissa has probably been met with people telling her to snap out of it, with this idea in their minds that anorexia is an affectation of vanity.  People decide that you are stupid and egotistical, that you're an asshole because...well, look at yourself--you're so skinny and beautiful, how could you think you're fat when you look at everyone else?  Think about how you thinking that makes them feel.  How selfish are you?

In case you haven't guessed yet, I have also struggled with anorexia for a very long time.  And I will tell anyone right now who wants to disclaim it as vanity: FUCK YOU.  Fuck you so FUCKING HARD.  I respect the hell out of Marissa for being able to do what she did, full well knowing just how divisively she would be received.  I don't know how else to tell her I support her, but I definitely want to give her a hug.

You go girl.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Used Again

It's very rare that I'm actually surprised by reality TV.  I've watched and studied it for so long that I'm very quick to identify discernible patterns in eliminations, winners, and people who were just cast to get sent up the river.  I had figured Emily was not long for this show after last week when she was surprised to be in the bottom, and vowed to try harder this week.

What she revealed about herself may have been the most heartbreaking of all of the realizations.  Being as talented as she is, being manipulated time and again for/because of her looks and sexuality must be incredibly painful, and I can't imagine what it must being doing to her self esteem.  People always assume that pretty people don't have feelings, but Emily here is a perfect example of the kind of hurt they go through--the assumption that they are worth nothing more than their looks.  I'm sure she's heard this a thousand times, but Emily, girl, you're very pretty, but you are also one hell of a singer.

Emily proved that she was one of the most capable--and the most polished--vocalists on the show, and this rendition of 'Please Don't Leave Me' was, in my personal opinion, far and away the best one that day.  Lindsay said her piece about not being treated fairly, but if anyone had the right to complain, it was Emily up there.  No one touched her, or even came close.  Why Dot chose Matheus is maddeningly puzzling.

"You got it on the DOT, honey!"

Although it's hard to feel bad for her when she keeps ripping on the same person over and over.  That could just be editing, but she gave them the material to work with, and they ran with it--oh the responsibility that comes with a sassy tongue.

It was odd, however, to see just how lost she was in this.  In this instance, I believe what the mentors were saying--Emily was definitely using humor to mask the pain of what she'd been through.  Feeling duped is, again, particularly painful because not only are you hurt, but you feel stupid.  Pretending like you're okay with it gives you some level of control, like you were in on the joke.  And speaking of jokes:

The look on her face when they announced Lindsay was still on the call back list was hysterical.

To be as fair as possible, she seemed to completely understand the issues they had with her when they announced she was in the bottom 3.

But this was NOT the best way to convey that.  As soon as I saw this part of her last chance performance, I knew she was done for.  She needed to overcome what she had failed to do in the main challenge, and instead she took two steps back.  Looking at the screen shots, Emily isn't singing 'Grenade'; she's doing her best Lisa Lampinelli impersonation.

You get the same interpretation from the peanut gallery, too.

It was heartbreaking knowing that she was going home during this scene, when she thought she had basically just won herself the competition from Ryan's heaping acclaim of her performance.

The Glee Project is becoming a class in organic reactions.  Last week we had Ellis's portrayal of 'expected disappointment' and this week we're getting 'stunned into shock'.  The fact that her face did not flinch from that expression for so long that the camera had to cut to a different scene tells me just how real what she was feeling was--after all, she got used yet again.

I'm disappointed to see Emily go so early, but I think this was for the best.  She was never going to win this thing, and the editing was making her out to be psychotic.  From what I've heard, her new single is coming out today, which she will probably link over her twitter which you can find here.  I feel like it's worth a listen.  Besides:

"Somebody's gettin' pregnant, and it's probably gonna be me."

Girl's packing an extra sandal for those who don't give her due.